Al-hamdulillah....
Dr dah sahkan sy pregnant setelah 1 tahun menunggu lepas miscarriage 18 Aug tahun lepas...
Nak cerita kronologi dulu la....
Lepas miscarriage dulu, berat sy naik gila2...
Sy akui malas gila nak exercise segala... makan tak ingat donia...
Berat paling tinggi, 68 kg kalau tak salah...
Then, Ramadhan kali ni bertekad nak kuruskan badan...
Al-hamdulillah, berjaya turun ke angka 63.5kg (walaupun tak turun smpai ideal weight... masih lagi dlm kategori over weight)
Lepas raya, dlm 22 Aug - slimming centre kat area cni ada call..
Suruh abihkan pakaj yg sy amik dulu... ni pakej yg sy amik sebelum mengandung kali ke-3 dulu...
Punya la lama....
Ada lg 8 treatment...
Maka, dgn semangat baru, konon2 nak abihkan treatment tu la kan...
Tp sy kena pastikan sy xpregnant...
Sedangkan period around 28-29hb...
Xpa, cuba gak...
sy beli 2 pregnancy test...
Ada 2 lines tp samar2...
Cancel dgn slimming centre tu nak buat treatment...
Kot2 la sungguh lekat kan....
Then, betoi2 28hb, ada spotting skit...
Takutnya....
Punya la gedix, takut period...
Esoknya, tak period jugak...
Terus jumpa Dr, saja nak cerita kat dia... apa yg dah berlaku...
Pd masa yg sama, nak minta pendpt sbb Dr ckp after raya boleh buat treatment utk dptkan baby...
Sbb ubat subur Clomid tu kena mkn on 2nd day period...
So, pi la jumpa Dr...
Dr kata xpa, lg 10 hari mai pulak...
Sbb sy yakin ada baby dlm perut ni...
Mungkin juga spotting tu utk telur yg dh disenyawakan melekat di rahim...
After 10 days, maybe dh bleh nmpk kantung....
Kalau period, on 1st day period dtg jumpa dia...
Dia nak kasi Clomid...
7 Sept - jumpa Dr lagi...
Scan kat perut tak nampak sac...
Guna transvaginal scan pun xnmpk sac...
Alamak... Dah pasrah....
Mengandung ke tak ni?
Dr amik darah sbb nak check HCG level....
Dr kata mungkin dh gugur....
Sedihnya.... tp xdak darah pun kluar....
Dr kata esok Dr call, bgtau keputusan darah....
Tp jgn berharap sgt....
Berdebarnya nak tunggu esok....
Esoknya juga nak pi KL...
Majlis bertandang SIL...
Kata Dr petang2 skit dia akan call....
Kat kenduri pun xbrapa nak ceria...
Nak bergmbr pun malas....
Jasad je ada kat situ...
Fikiran dah melayang2....
Ptg tu after kenduri, check-in hotel...
Dah smpai bilik hotel, tgk2 ada miskol dr klinik...
Call klinik balik...
Dr dah rehat...
Nnt Dr ada, depa call semula...
Lambatnya rasa...
Buat apa pun xkena...
Dlm pkul 8 - Dr ada balik....
Dr kata, HCG level normal...
Yes, you're pregnant...
Jumaat ni dtg balik untuk follow-up....
Masa Dr kata confirm pregnant tu rasa mcm syok gila.... TOP OF THE WORLD...
Tp tu la, xbrani nak suka2 sgt...
Mcm2 boleh berlaku....
Dalam diri, sy cuba tanamkan sifat2 positif...
Yakin baby ada, selamat...
Sentiasa titipkan doa buat dia, baca al-quran, air zam2... folic acid... zikir byk2...
Pada masa yg sama, cuba menerima kenyataan...
TAPI, MACAMMANA KALAU ARI JUMAAT NI MASIH TAK NAMPAK JUGAK?
KALAU IKUT KIRAAN, DAH MASUK 6 WEEKS...
LOGIK TAK kalau TAK NAMPAK????
KULIT PERUT SAYA TEBAL SGT KA????
BYK SGT LEMAK KA????
minggu ni dok gundah gulana lagi...
takutnya....
Ada ke tak ni????
takutnya kena D&C lagi...
Rasa mcm xbrapa kuat nak terima berita baby dah tak dak buat kali ke-2...
Ya Allah, tabahkah aku????
6 comments:
pray hard dear
mi... sabaq mi, stress pun tk elok kat baby. relax n tawakal k.
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